Gold moments.

Cameron Diaz

Eva Longoria

Jenifer Lopez

Jessica Simpson

Katte Moss

Madonna

Paris Hilton

Whitney Houston

Brittney Spears

Banc de voiebuna

Bulă (mic) cu ta-su la piscină.

Merg ei pe marginea piscinei şi Bulă alunecă pe faianţa udă.

În ultima clipă, se apucă de puţa lu’ ta-su şi se salvează.

La care ta-su se uită în jos şi îi zice cu dispreţ:

- Vezi, bă, dacă erai cu mă-ta îţi spărgeai capu’!

Living in New York City (pentru ca trebuie sa fie in engleza)

 

Times Square

 

Keeping the city clean.

Times quare

 

Times Square

LOGAN….no comment

Old Chelsea Market

The High Line

Seinfeld rulzzzz

 

Long Bitch

Landing on JFK

 

New York Taxi(tv,city map,card payment)

Artificii in New York de 4 iulie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rF5xKpVHoA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGOyudZ77Xc

Just 2 jokes…..lot’s of work here

Langa un sat din Ardeal aterizeaza o farfurie zburatoare.
Autoritatile iau imediat masura de a anunta satenii despre acest eveniment si despre comportarea pe care trebuie sa o aiba daca intalnesc cumva un extraterestru.
“Dragi sateni, pe izlazul de langa satul nostru a aterizat o farfurie zburatoare. Daca din intamplare intalniti un extraterestru va sfatuim sa va pastrati calmul, sa nu incercati sa ii agresati in vre-un fel, ba din contra, fiti prietenosi si incercati prin gesturi si putine cuvinte sa comunicati. Ca sa ii puteti recunoaste va informam ca extraterestrii sunt : MICI, VERZI, AU OCHII BULBUCATI SI MAINILE PANA LA PAMANT”
Spre seara, Gheorghe era la coasa. Si cum cosea el vede un “omulet” mic, verde, cu ochii bulbucati si mainile pana la pamint. Se apropie incet sa nu-l sperie si ii spune:
- Eu… Gheorghe… cosas… cosesc.
La care omuletul ii raspunde:
- Eu… Ion… padurar… ma cac

———————————————————————————————–

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O femeie facea cumparaturi la supermarket-ul din colt. Cumpara ea o cutie de lapte 1,5%, un carton de oua, o cutie cu suc de portocale, o cutie cu cafea, o salata si niste costita afumata. In timp ce le descarca la casa, vine un tip beat in spatele ei si se uita lung la produse. Apoi spune:
- Tu esti mai mult ca sigur singura.
Femeia se uita contrariata la produsele de la casa si nu intelege de unde a tras betivul concluzia.
- Ai perfecta dreptate, sunt singura, dar de unde ti-ai dat seama?
Betivul raspunde clatinandu-se:
- Pentru ca esti urata!

Getting A Tan in New York, and hang out with the stars!!

Working away from home….will be back in august….see ya

Central Park Manhattan

Madame Tussaud New York

!!! New stuff in the following days.What would you want to see?

Dear Santa

These have been around for a while but I thought they were worth diggin out again.

‘Tis the season, after all!

~M~

deer santa:
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Frend,
BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You’re on your way to a career in lawn care.. How about
I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I’m giving
your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!

Santa

==================================================

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace
and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn’t they?
Santa

==================================================

Dear Santa,
I don’t know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I’d like for my
mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.

Love,
Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad’s banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane. Do you think he’s gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat
mom, who rides his ass constantly? It’s time to give up that dream. Let
me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with
those?

Santa

==================================================

Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes,
a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love, Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid “Francis” nowadays? I bet you’re gay.
Santa

==================================================

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for
your reindeer outside the back door.
Love, Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when
riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam.

Santa

==================================================

Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making
toys?
Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made by little kids like you in China. Every year I
give them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas,
where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind
by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses
while losing money at the craps table.

Santa
P.S.
Tell your mom she got the part.
Long Dong Claus

==================================================

Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we’re sleeping, do you really know when we’re awake,
like in the song?
Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I’m
skipping your house.
Santa

==================================================

Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE
PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy

Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap
doesn’t work with me. You’re getting an ugly sweater again.

Santa

==================================================

Dearest Santa,
We don’t have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love, Marky

Mark,
First, stop calling yourself “Marky”, that’s why you’re getting your
ass kicked at school. Second, you don’t live in a house, you live in a
low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just
like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.

Sweet Dreams,
Santa

>
>       Subject: FW: Christmas Carols for the Disturbed
>
>
>
>
>
>       1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?
>
>
>
>       2. Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are
>
>
>
>       3. Dementia — I Think I’ll be Home for Christmas
>
>
>
>       4. Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
>
>
>
>       5. Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and
Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and…..
>
>
>
>       6. Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
>
>
>
>       7. Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open
Fire
>
>
>
>       8. Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m
Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why
>
>
>
>       9. Attention Deficit Disorder — Silent night, Holy oooh look at the
Froggy – can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?
>
>
>
>       10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells
>
>